The Toughest Moment to Relive: Sharing the First Excerpt from My Book

Sharing the First Excerpt of My Book
Sharing the First Excerpt of My Book

Experiences that Shape Our Lives

We, as bloggers and writers, constantly put ourselves out there through sharing our experiences and as you probably already know, some memories are easier to relive and reveal than others. Some written reflections bring us back to the very moment of fear and shakes us to the core. It is like reliving the ordeal all over again.

But sometimes, as hard as it may be to share the memories, it also gives us strength and courage. It gives us hope and piece of mind. Plus, it has helped mole and shape us into the person we are today and we are stronger because of it.

And then there are those terrifying experiences that, no matter how hard we try to not be affected, change us. They make us more aware of what could happen or can happen which sometimes leads us to think too much.

Writing My Book: The Toughest Moment to Relive So Far

Writing this book, although has proven to be the most awesome ‘trip down memory lane’ ever, has also made me relive some tough moments. The following two paragraphs, in italics, contain one of those. It sends shivers down my spine, gives me chills, and brings me back to the moment as if it was just yesterday.

I guess I should mention that it took me three flights to actually get to Taiwan. This happened during the first leg of the journey. I don’t want to give too much away, but this is was the beginning of the nearly seven-day travel nightmare to Taiwan – and I was the unfortunate star of the show.

We descended further and further while waiting, praying, hoping for the sound of the wheels coming down, but it didn’t happen. We all braced ourselves for crash landing. This was probably it. Lower and lower the plane went and lower and lower my heart sank. As faith and hope began to vanish, I contemplated the thought that these might very well be my last few breaths. I thought it was rather ironic that my epic adventure to Taiwan had turned into my worst disaster before it ever began. I thought about all my family and friends who, just hours before, had admired my strength, determination, and courage to undertake such a life-changing adventurous journey. I wonder if they would have the same opinion of me if they saw me in emergency position, fearing for my life.

In those brief few minutes which felt like hours, panic and terror silently consumed me. Tears started rolling down my face and sped up to a trickling pace. My heart pounder louder than ever, like a drum beating its last encore performance. My hands shook uncontrollably as they cupped my head and my whole body trembled with the fear of my current reality. Plus, I couldn’t think of any other words other than ‘Please let me live. I don’t want to die.’

So, I guess it is pretty obvious what the outcome was and that’s why I am now so fearful of heights and flying. However, like most things, it seems to get better and better with time.

Be sure to drop back next Friday when I once again hand my blog over to my husband. He will be revealing what it is like to take a plane and fly with me!  Of course, he provides a humorous take on it, as always:)

And I promise the next excerpt will be a happier one! 🙂

Now, over to you!  Has anything ever happened that affected and changed you?  Are you scared of heights and/or flying?  Be sure to drop me a line in the comment box below!  I would love to hear from you!

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32 thoughts on “The Toughest Moment to Relive: Sharing the First Excerpt from My Book

  1. I’m scared (most of the times) of dogs. When I was little, my neighbours had this MASSIVE German shepherd – it probably looked that big because I was as short as a stick – and it used to bark at me and run after me everytime I’d pass by. Now that I think of it, it probably just wanted to play. But it kinda blew out of proportion when everyone started making dog noises to scare me, which continued until I was well in my teens. It’s gotten better with time of course, I love my friend’s golden retriever and I’ve even been close to a few dogs and played with them. But then there are times when it just goes down again.

    1. I think many people are scared of dogs. I am to a certain degree as well. There was a dog in an area where I frequently passed that used to run and chase cars, scooters, and people and tried to bite them. I used to avoid that area. However, I am assuming something was done about it because I haven’t seen the dog for months.

  2. What a peek into your book. Can I just say, I love it. Love the writing and the vivid descriptions. Your fear certainly comes through. It must have been hard reliving that moment in your head, and then searching for the words to describe it all. I’m finding that’s the case selecting stories for my book :/ Sort of like you are walking through a nightmare right before your eyes.

    I’m quite afraid of heights. But the other day when I went up 88 stories and looked out at Melbourne, I was okay. I was pretty energetic that day and had a good night’s sleep, maybe that’s why. As for flying in planes, I’m one jittery passenger. Turbulence and the slight ups and downs of a plane makes me nauseous, and I get cranky when people approach me. On a few occasions the air-stewardess brought around gourmet chocolates and I had to refuse because I felt so sick! However, I’ve never used the sickie bag before and I can’t believe it myself 😀

    I am so looking forward to your husband’s post next Friday!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Mabel. I am glad you enjoyed it. I have to admit that one of the first things I did was write about the ‘bad stuff’ and just get it out of the way. The intention of my book is be fun and exciting and hopefully, empowering.

      Wow! Good for you – 88 stories is quite high! I bet you were super proud of yourself. It is good to step out of your comfort zone! I always try not to let fear get in the way of me doing something.

  3. Oh my! That is certainly a memory no one would want to relive. But you have captured the mood wonderfully. We feel like we are watching you on screen and experiencing that moment with you.

    Not scared of heights per se but more NOT a fan of being high up without secure surroundings. Well that is me (Le) speaking, David is not scared of heights. He has been sky diving and bungy jumping … no thanks! And I use to dread flying only because I suffered SEVERE travel/air-sickness. I could not eat or read or watch TV or even stay awake on a plane (no matter how short the flight). I used to dread having to get up to go to the bathroom as I just knew the sick bag could be my best friend at any time. I would force myself to sleep as soon as I got on board so I would be knocked out the entire flight. Then one day David introduced me to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and that changed my life, literally. I now can climb with no anxiety or nerves on a plane, stay awake when I need to, eat when I have to and read a book 🙂

    Anyway, good luck with your book. Seems like that is a goal for a lot of us bloggers this year 🙂

    1. Thanks so much for your kind comment. I am glad that I was able to put it into words. It one one of those parts that had been written in my head for some time, if that makes sense.

      My husband suffers from severe sea sickness whenever he takes a boat. I pitied him the time we took the 90 minute boat ride to Penghu. He was nauseous and threw up from the time the boat started to the time we docked. However, coming back he used ‘patches’ behind his ears and they worked like magic.

      Good luck with your book as well. Is it going to be travel related?

      1. We are scoping two books – one is our Camino experience. And the other one is more a family history collection. Well, at least that is the aim. Now its just trying to find the time to put pen to paper.

        Good luck with yours too and hope you had a lovely weekend!

  4. I don’t fear flying, but I do feel uncomfortably nervous every time I fly. Actually, I think it is the fear of putting my life in the control of someone else, so any form of transportation that isn’t myself behind the wheels of my car makes me nervous.

    I suspect my worst experience with flying is nothing close compared to yours. The second time I was flying to San Francisco, the plane landed very hard on the tarmac, it was like a crash and it felt as if the entire plane was going to fall apart, and then instead of slowing down, the plane took off again, and the pilot announced “due to technical issues, we have to lift off and attempt to land again”. A few minutes later, we landed again, this time without much drama. That few minutes was probably the longest few minutes in my life so far.

    1. I can understand how having no control can make someone nervous – we basically put our life and trust in a stranger’s hands when we fly.

      That sounds terrible and very scary. Reading what you wrote sends shivers down my spine. Like my husband will blog about on Friday, I don’t deal well with turbulence and sudden atitude drops.

  5. I am not afraid of flying but heights, oh no, can’t stand them. For me it is already frightening enough to just lean against a window few floors up.
    However if I really need to I can also overcome my fear of heights and do whatever is neccessary. For example during army time I was in a sports squad and we had to pull ourselves over a rope 3m over the ground without safety. 3m doesnt sound much but for me it was terrible :p
    However I got used to it the more often I did it and in the end I didnt mind it at all anymore.

    1. Yes, a fear of heights is scary but good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing what needed to be done. I have also stepped out of my comfort zone a few times in terms of heights, especially in Chamonix, France when we took the Aiguille du Midi cable car. The was nervous going to the first station and I nearly chickened out but my husband convinced me somehow to get on the second cable car.

  6. Thanks you so much for sharing that. I know that had to be one of the most devastating moments in your life. I know how hard it is to relive moments of fear and anxiety for the sake of writing a memoir because I have done so myself. I decided to reveal some not so average life experiences of mine and even though I am anxy about it I decided to be brave. By the way you have me hooked and I look forward to reading more, can’t wait for your book to come out because you have a way with your words that makes the reader feel as if they were there. I attempted to do the same thing. if you have time stop by ShanayaNour.com here on wordpress,My book is not published yet but I provide a series of short stories while my dear readers wait. I will be following you because I look forward to reading more.

  7. Can’t wait to read more! I’m envious of you taking notes all these years and holding on to them for your book. I have thrown away or deleted most of mine and so much is now forgotten, especially the feeling of times I now want to write about. While I could fictionalize it, I’m prefer facts and to be as truthful as I can… if that’s even possible with memories. 😀 Have a great weekend!

    1. Thanks, Hilary for your nice words!! I really appreciate your feedback. When you think about it, it is crazy how much has change since 1999, especially with the way we communicate. Social media is the norm now. I have some e-mails that I kept from when I first arrived in Taiwan. It is funny how sending an e-mail to everyone made me feel so connected when I first arrived!

      1. No worries! Definitely, communcation is not what it was. I miss it. I think there is value in taking time to compose something on paper and having to *wait* (gasp) for a letter or watch time on an international phone call because it’s so expensive. I feel like people have forgotten the value of pausing and that it’s okay to slow down. That’s my theory with drivers and frustration when they refuse to stop or even slow down when someone is in the crosswalk… all the while chatting on their phone or texting. Anyway, I will step off my soapbox and say I also appreciate being able to video chat with Hitoshi’s family across the ocean. That makes up for not living there. I think it’s possible to have both ways of communication. And I want to read more of the story about your first flight!

  8. Ooooh! Loving this first peek at your book! Very vivid account and has me wondering what happened next, why this was happening etc. Awesome! ❤
    I've never been afraid of flying, but I've gone from loving it to barely being able to bear the experience. It's not fear, but complete and utter discomfortーthe dry air, being stuck in a seat for 10+ hours for just one leg of a journey, the awful food, the security checks that just seem to get more and more tedious (also I used to bring *so much* food and drink on flights to "survive" the trip, and that's not possible anymoreーor rather much more limited)… I could go on forever. 😉 It used to be a very relaxing experience for meーI've been doing it since literally before I was born (does going to Madrid in the womb count as having been there? ;)), as I'd finally have that "break" from life where I could sleep/daydream endlessly or read for hours without being disturbed. I guess I got old. 😉 (Similar to Lina, I'm a much better traveler when on a journey with my husbandーhe's a great traveling companion and a good distraction from most of the annoying things.
    //end far too long comment. 😄 Evidently flying back to France on my own over the holidays has left its mark, haha!

    1. Yes, flying has certainly changed over the years. I remember flying when I was younger and people could smoke because it was the first leg of an international flight continuing to London. However, I guess with this long list of safety measures, it puts people’s mind at ease when flying.

      Thanks for reading my first excerpt. I am glad you enjoyed it. I have to admit that one of the first things I did was write about the ‘bad stuff’ and just get it out of the way. The intention of my book is be fun and exciting and hopefully, empowering.

  9. What a terrifying experience!! I have never been through anything like that… I am quite apprehensive and if the plane starts doing some noise which I think is not normal I start thinking crazy stuff, but I don’t freak out. I am not really scared of flying, although like Ri said, it is becoming more and more uncomfortable. I wonder what new safety measures they will implement after the Paris attacks (which by the way didn’t have anything to do with planes, but for sure they will come up with something to piss off travelers even more). I am still wondering how many bombs hidden in water or shampoo bottles they have found in these last few years…

    1. I find the longer flights are the hardest because the entire plane is asleep and I am usually the only one awake. And I agree – flying has changed a lot over the past years, so much that it is hard to keep up with the rules and the restrictions and even the little things like luggage size and weight. I think the biggest surprise for my husband was having to pay for food – for all domestic flights in Canada, food needs to be purchase (I think it was CAD$7 or $10 for a sandwich.)

  10. Oh wow, I can’t imagine. I’m not a huge fan of heights, never have been. I will not be sharing this story with the husband. He gets worried taking off and landing, but the more we fly the less he thinks about it. We just went to Vegas last week and he said, did you drug me, I don’t really remember taking off or landing (he meant being nervous about it). I could imagine that something like your experience would take a while to get over!

  11. Wow, that sure is a life-changing experience. I think it’s great that you can express your feelings about it through writing and blogging, and you’re a great writer. It is so important for people to identify their fears and be able to talk about them in order to overcome them. Good for you for still living in Taiwan and continuing to travel after this experience. – Emme @ Green Global Travel

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